Bye bye 2008. Hello 2009!

I apologize that my last blog was so negative. I know that probably this wasn't the best way to vent and maybe not very mature. So I guess one of my resolutions should be to be more mature about things I can never change! In any case, I want this blog to be positive and maybe uplifting. I feel that I was so blessed in 2008. I was pregnant for the first two months of 2008 and then of Feb. 27th, 2008, Josue came into this world. I know that no one is prepared to be a parent. I read all the books and had most things ready except for my bag to take to the hospital(must remember that for next time or I will get stuck with a bunch of baby outfits and one shirt for me!)but nothing prepared me for hearing Josue cry for the first time. I was just amazed that a human being had actually come out of me!! It is a surreal experience and even though I was way drugged up, I still can remember every single thing that happened. For that, I am thankful.

I was so scared during the first two months of Josue's life. I thought I was going to break him but I found that he is pretty sturdy and now that he is 10 months old, we throw him up in the air and he gets the biggest smile on his face! Roberto and I continue learning new things about Josue and his personality. He adds so much joy to our house and I know my parents and brother and sister would say the same. My hope is that his family in Chile will get to know Josue soon and he will have the opportunity to get to know the Chilean culture and people.

Josue was the biggest even in my life this year but there were other things that happened as well. My sister Priscilla went to Japan for three months and decided to stay for 6 months! I have to admit that this has not been easy for me. She is my best friend and there are times when I miss her very much. Christmas and New Year's was not the same without her! However, I am so happy for her because she is happy in Japan and has so many friends and is doing ministry at the TLC COG. The members of the TLC church are awesome! They have taken Priscilla in and made her part of their family. I can't wait for the day Roberto, Josue and I get to meet Priscilla's family in Japan.

My brother Steven or Esteban as he now is called had an eventful end of the year. He had to have gall bladder surgery plus a couple more surgeries in December. We thought he wouldn't be able to come for Christmas but he was tough and one day after being released from the hospital he endured a 14 hour drive to Cleveland, TN. I am so happy he got to be here for Christmas and New Year and of course that he gets to see Josue and spend time with him. He is a wonderful uncle!

My mom and dad have also been blessed this year. I know they would say that Josue has been one of the biggest blessings! They along with Josue's Chilean grandparents are the best grandparents. I have always prayed for wonderful grandparents for my children, future children, my brother and sister's children and God answered my prayer. Grandpa Jorge, Grandma Elisabeth, Grandpa Francisco and Grandma Sonia are awesome!!

There have been some things that have not been so good this year especially for my mom. Both her parents have been very sick. In this next week, my mom will be going back to Chile to take care of my grandma who has lung cancer. She is doing everything to make this time in my grandparent's life as easy as possible. It makes me sad that she has to go through this and also that I probably won't get to see either of my grandparents before they pass. I hope that she is able to spend as much time as she can with them in 2009.

Roberto and I have had a crash course in parenting and life this past year. I think we have done pretty well. We went through a time there where we didn't feel direction in the ministry area but God opened new doors for us and so we are working again and learning. We know what God ultimately wants us to do but we know we have a lot of work to do before we get there. We are committed to the Lord, each other and Josue.

I love to start a new year. I have my calendar ready. I still haven't written my resolutions but I am working on it. I just love the fact that we can start new things and change bad habits or learn good habits! I am not sure what 2009 will bring. I know that I am trusting the Lord to be there at every moment. I hope 2009 is a blessed year for all of you!

Craniosynostosis-an ugly word

Things change when you have a child, especially your first child. You think that everything that you are doing might be wrong or at least that you don't know how things are going to turn out. As a new mom, I do worry about things that might happen and I worry if what I am doing is going to affect Josue in the future. The last thing you want to hear as a new parent is that your child is sick or that they are going to need surgery for something.

When Josue was about 3 months old, the pediatrician showed some concern about the shape of his head. The size of his head was normal but he felt that we should wait to see what would happen to the shape and whether it would round out. Well, here we are 9 months later, 2 specialists visits and one more specialist visit in a month. The doctors have diagnosed craniosynostosis for Josue which means that one or more sutures in his head have already fused. These are not supposed to fuse until he is two years old. This means he would have to have surgery to open these sutures and allow for his brain to keep developing. The surgery itself is long and to me seems risky.

This is where I have to ask myself if I am willing to put my son in someone else's hands to correct something that I feel is not that bad. I look at Josue's head and don't really see what is the big deal but I do realize that it could affect him later in his development and I definitely don't want to see that happen!

So now I am left with this dilemma. We have our last appointment which is a second opinion on January 7th. I am hoping and praying for a miracle. Maybe his sutures will open on their own and he won't need any surgery. That is my hope. If not, I will have to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. I will have to put my son in someone else's hand and trust that the Lord will take care of him like He has taken care of me all of my life.

Hi, my name is Paula and I am a Democrat...

I remember the first election in which I got to vote. I had lived mainly outside of the United States because of my parent's work in Latin America. It was so exciting to see how the elections played out and who the candidates were at that time. Early on, I knew I wanted to vote for Bill Clinton. I had seen him speak on T.V. on several occassions and felt that he wanted what was best for the people of the United States. He was in my view a people's President.



Both my brother and I were so excited about Bill Clinton and Al Gore that we wore our campaing buttons to youth group one night. As soon as we came into our meeting room, one of youth leaders approached us and asked if we had "backslidden." I am not from the South, so I had no earthly idea was he was talking about but I knew it wasn't good. The whole rest of the night, we got weird looks and stares. I went home not knowing what I had done wrong.



After that incident, I found out what backslidding was and why we had gotten such ugly looks and stares. I was so angry! I couldn't believe that people would think I was not a Christian because of my political views! At that time, I did not understand what politics had to do with being a Christian-I still don't. I guess after that, I definitely felt that I needed to stand by my candidate and so on election night, my brother and I went over to a friend's house and celebrated our victory.



I quickly realized after this, that if I was going to keep friends, I needed to keep my mouth shut. So I just didn't say anything to anyone. When people would talk about politics, I would politely excuse myself from the conversation. If I did happen to talk to anyone about my political views, I made sure it was someone that was going to show me the same respect I would show them. I certainly didn't want to talk to anyone who thought I was a "baby killer" or whatever else they associated with being a Democrat.



Throughout college, I found friends who shared my views and friends who didn't but I never openly talked about being a Democrat. When I moved to New York to pursue my Master's, I was shocked and amazed that everyone I met was a Democrat!! It was heaven! I could talk openly about my views and share ideas with people. I met so many people in New York and had many life changing moments. This experience only solidified my views.



When I came back to my hometown, it was back to normal. I kept my thoughts to myself and only shared with those people I knew were not going to judge me. I have been quiet until now. This election for me as for many has been historic. I proudly voted for Barack Obama. Although I liked McCain, I felt once again that Obama was going to be and is a people's President.



The night of the elections, I could not believe that at 11 p.m., Obama had already won the election. I was so excited and wanted to share this. As soon as I got on Facebook and Myspace, I saw comment after comment about Obama being the Anti-Christ, and that people wanted to move from the United States and so on. I couldn't believe it! I love the Lord with all my heart but I was made to feel like I was not a Christian and couldn't be if I voted for this man. I got angry and have to admit that I deleted many friends from my accounts. I felt and still feel that I don't have time for that and don't really need friends who are going to be disrespectful to me and my opinions.



I have many friends who don't agree with me or my views. In fact, most of my friends are Republican but my true friends have always respected me and have never questioned my relationship with God because of my political views. I appreciate and cherish those friendships.

So, I have made a decision. I am done with keeping my views to myself. I want to share with other people and have interesting conversations about what we believe but I won't waste time doing this with people who are disprespectful. I know in my heart that I can love the Lord, have a relationship with Him and still be a Democrat!